ChristiesPrivateBeach <– PDF
The arrogance of power descended on a beach in New Jersey today as His Most High Graciousness Governor Chris Christie and his family enjoyed the sunny weather on Island Beach State Park. It turns out that His Majestic Highness, owing to a budgetary dispute with the legislature, had ordered all state beaches closed as of Friday night. Under New Jersey state law, His Graciousness has two official residences: one in Princeton, and one at Island Beach State Park. The royal festivities were captured by a helicopter flying overhead. His Majesty’s Lord High Spokesman at first denied that he was there, but when confronted with photographic proof, said:
“He didn’t get much sun because he had a baseball cap on.”
The Lord High Spokesman failed to mention if there is any exception granted to the His Graciousness under the law if the state beaches are closed to the public. His High Graciousness Christie took the time to look down his nose and issued a clarifying official statement on the matter:
“The governor is allowed to go to his residences, and I’m at my residences. I’ll tell you this, I said last Monday – a week ago today – that no matter what happens, we were coming here as a family this weekend.”
Apparently there is a new budget deal in the works that will open the beaches to the general public (you know, those slime-slurping bottom dwelling taxpaying lowlifes) in time for the Fourth of July.
The sad part is not that a governor thinks he’s royalty – that is as old as human nature. What is truly sad is that the people of New Jersey have been so brainwashed by serfdom that they are no longer offended by the open demonstration of official contempt. There are a few applications that could have been made by the people, if they had the backbone for it.
First, the people could simply have declared that the beaches are open to everyone, since the Governor and his family are enjoying it. They should have proceeded to the beaches en masse, and dared anyone to arrest them. Second, they could announce that government regulation of beaches is hereby abolished on the grounds that any government that regards itself above the law ipso facto cannot be trusted. At minimum, an investigation should ensue as to whether any exception is allowed for the Governor in these instances, and if so, the exception should be immediately repealed.
In any case, the people of New Jersey should henceforth always refer to Christie as His Majesty, and other titles befitting such a royal personage, having demonstrated he is above the law, and (probably in his own mind) above the Constitution as well.
His High Graciousness had one final word to the lowlife peasantry:
“What a great bit of journalism by The Star-Ledger. They actually caught a politician being where he said he was going to be with the people he said he was going to be with, his wife and children and their friends. I am sure they will get a Pulitzer for this one.”
His Majesty forgot to mention that he initially denied he was on the beach, and admitted it only after the picture became public. His statement also implies that friends of the royal family are also above the law. Yet the people of New Jersey tolerate this level of arrogance.
Tags: Chris Christie
